Nostalgias Bitch

Conaway Avenue

So I have this condition…or, more like what I refer to as a world view. A way of digesting & internalizing things, making sense of them and gathering meaning for myself. It’s what those closest to me might lovingly roll their eyes at and call being a “sentimentalist.” Gasp. For me, I consider it the source of all my powers. It provides me with the inspiration and means to be loyal & love the best I can and/or know how to. And yes, sometimes it causes more wallowing and sorrow than the average Joe- but I’ll take that drawback. It’s why when I watch celebratory sporting moments I get choked up- every time (well, at least in the privacy of my own home), or why I’m such a photo hoarder. Or why most of the friends I have are the same ones I’ve had for years. 

The path most traveled

 I know it’s not considered healthy to live in the past, but I disagree. I’m all for the examined life- in proper doses. It makes me feel appreciative for what I have and who I am now, and remember just how far I've come. As long as you still enjoy & appreciate the present as well.

                

Along the same vein- we moved my Mom a few days ago out of the house she lived in for 20 years and I spent a good chunk of my adolescence growing up in. Even though I haven’t lived in that house for years, the memories were powerful as I sat cross-legged on the empty floor of my old bedroom on Conaway Avenue for the last time and let them have free reign. Movie & ice cream sundae nights with my Mom, hide and seek in the dark with Camille, the neighbor days with Cantway, decorating for different holidays,  “eternal flame” moments with Roz & Camille ;), Aaron Melching hanging out in my bedroom not long before he passed away, first love, graduations, late nights of yahtzee, sharing the last bedroom ever with my sister, coming out of the proverbial closet, finding out my Dad died, dancing in the living room, Mark & Navid climbing in through my bedroom window,  multiple “gatherings” with friends, sneaking out, my first Xmas with Breelyn, etc. etc. It’s all there. In that house. Forever. 

And it felt really nice & fulfilling to take the time to just feel the bitter sweetness of it all. Reminded me of a quote in Life of Pi, “It's important in life to conclude things properly. Only then can you let go. Otherwise you are left with words you should have said but never did, and your heart is heavy with remorse.”- Yann Martel. To the next chapter in this rapidly changing book of life…I’m so thankful for all the memories and where they've led me at good ol’ Conaway Avenue.

From city to country